This is How We A Created A Sacred Weaning Ceremony For Our Son
Weaning is a significant transition for both the child and the mother, and so often it is not acknowledged.
We created a beautiful ceremony/ritual to celebrate that letting go and support our son stepping into being a big boy.
Enjoy watching and may it inspire others to create meaningful rites of passage from these everyday transitions.
“Make it a celebration rather than a grieving” ~ Terri
Watch this beautiful video we took of our Sacred Weaning Ceremony for our second son Elwood who was 2.5years old. I share the story behind the ceremony below.
The Story Behind Our Weaning Ceremony…
For so many, the thought of weaning feels tough. It certainly felt like that for me.
I wasn’t so much worried that I would be depriving him of the nutrition of breast milk, as he was two and a half and eating solids. I was more scared that I would be taking away from him a nurturing, nourishing experience that we shared as mumma and child,.
To stop felt like I would be taking something away from him.
This was especially because I had been tandem feeding him with his younger brother Jett for 4 moths. I was worried that Elwood would feel he was missing that special connection with me if we stopped.
But it felt right, for my body, to stop feeding both. It felt right that it was time for Elwood to step into his ‘older’ non-breast-feeding self. But gee was it hard.
I felt all churned up inside. I felt such intense grieving at the thought of stopping.
When my thinking changed, and I asked myself…
“How can I see this weaning as a celebration
rather than a grieving?“It completely reframed everything for me.
My perspective went from fear of taking something away, to a profound sense of celebrating our boy stepping into his future, of stepping into being a ‘big boy’, of witnessing his journey, of blessing and honouring the rites of passage in his life.
And in doing so, honouring the rite of passage of stopping feeding him that was my own journey.
Our process evolved organically and it was a combination of ideas from our little family.
We thought to make a path for him to walk down. To have his last feed on one side, then to walk along the path to meet his big brother Tahlo, who had traveled that road before him.
The Bolivian culture is strong in our lives because I lived there for 3 years and we travelled back there with Tahlo, our eldest son. I value how much the way they bring ritual into everything. So we planned to have a Bolivian cloth on either end with the passage in between.
Suddenly Tahlo, who would often wear a beautiful yellow aguayo around his shoulders like a cape, said… “we could give an aguayo to Elwood!” So he went and chose a special one.
We spent a couple of weeks leading up to the ceremony, talking about it with Elwood and enjoying many almost-last breast feeds.
Finally the day arrived.
** Watch Video at the top of this post now if you haven’t already **
Tahlo (11yo at the time) went and picked flowers and created the beautiful path for El to walk down.
Elwood and I spent lovely time making a celebration banana cake to eat once he had gone through the passage.
The scene was set. The moment, sacred.
Elwood and I shared a special last breastfeed.
And then I sat with baby Jett, as Elwood stood up and stepped away.
I said, ” I love you”, and he turned back and said “you love me?” and kissed my hand. Oh soooo sweet!
I felt so incredibly proud to see him taking those big-boy steps away from me, along that path of flower petals, stepping into his independence and his future, where I wouldn’t literally feeding him from my body.
I let him go. Into his own life.
He was welcomed by his big brother Tahlo to ‘the big kid side’… where a beautiful aguayo cape was placed around his shoulders.
And we all said “Congratulations Elwood!”
Then we ate cake!
And celebrated with joy and excitement! (I shed a few quiet tears – but happy-sad tears)
And in the days following, even if he would ask for a breast feed, I would see him refer in his mind back the ritual moment and remember that he had crossed over into a different chapter of his life.
And we would cuddle and laugh and find other ways to connect.
* Thanks to my husband, papa Donovan, for capturing this precious moments on video 🙂 *
How could you do something similar even if the child to be weaned has no older sibling?
Maybe are cousins or older friends who you could invite to be on the end of the rite of passage to welcome the child moving through weaning…. to welcome and celebrate them stepping into being a ‘big kid’.
I’d love to hear in the comments any insights you have had from this post! Or share some of your own experiences of weaning toddlers…
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